








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
409 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,219 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 207 | 17% |
| Smokes | 343 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 332 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 337 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $162,612 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fing of Kishguard -hwpo- | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | ℙαřsnip | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Morti Dilligafsson | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | donq | 67% | 9 |
| #5 | Pelta ☂ | 67% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Morti Dilligafsson | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | donq | 67% | 9 |
| #5 | Pelta ☂ | 67% | 12 |
| #6 | F_A_F | 57% | 7 |
| #7 | NEMI | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pelta ☂ | 1 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | donq | 1 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | F_A_F | 1 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pelta ☂ | 32 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | F_A_F | 8 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #3 | Fing of Kishguard -hwpo- | 7 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | ℙαřsnip | 7 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | donq | 5 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pelta ☂ | +6.18 | 84 | 71 |
| #2 | NEMI | +5.14 | 81 | 47 |
| #3 | donq | +2.34 | 64 | 63 |
| #4 | ℙαřsnip | +1.39 | 42 | 59 |
| #5 | F_A_F | -0.21 | 22 | 68 |





