








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 185 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
348 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 417 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 37 | 9% |
| Smokes | 161 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 113 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 106 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $106,988 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klopf Mich! | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | No-Response | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | Klement | 50% | 34 |
| #4 | GOORDIS | 42% | 43 |
| #5 | fangenfranazkaban | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klopf Mich! | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | No-Response | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | Klement | 50% | 34 |
| #4 | GOORDIS | 42% | 43 |
| #5 | fangenfranazkaban | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GOORDIS | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Klement | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GOORDIS | 59 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | Klement | 42 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | No-Response | 7 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | Klopf Mich! | 7 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | fangenfranazkaban | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klopf Mich! | +4.65 | 67 | 47 |
| #2 | Klement | +1.97 | 53 | 31 |
| #3 | GOORDIS | +1.54 | 69 | 28 |
| #4 | No-Response | +1.27 | 56 | 25 |
| #5 | Sisrace | -3.54 | 32 | 20 |





