








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 333 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 220 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1893 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,831 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1310 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1947 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2509 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2065 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $874,427 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 131 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kone | 66% | 32 |
| #2 | Ajokoira | 61% | 69 |
| #3 | Testojepari | 58% | 73 |
| #4 | Keijob | 53% | 49 |
| #5 | kimbla | 49% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Ajokoira | 61% | 69 |
| #3 | Testojepari | 58% | 73 |
| #4 | Keijob | 53% | 49 |
| #5 | kimbla | 49% | 152 |
| #6 | Kytky | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Testojepari | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | kimbla | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Keijob | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Ajokoira | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Kone | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ajokoira | 260 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | Testojepari | 232 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | Keijob | 207 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | kimbla | 199 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | Kone | 157 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kytky | +2.41 | 58 | 73 |
| #2 | Ajokoira | +1.39 | 69 | 58 |
| #3 | Smarttine | +0.57 | 77 | 58 |
| #4 | Kone | +0.30 | 81 | 71 |
| #5 | kimbla | +0.23 | 73 | 59 |





