








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
418 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,381 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 467 | 34% |
| Smokes | 434 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 161 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 319 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $105,296 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snax | 2 | 0.0233 |
| #2 | KEi | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Kylar | 1 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | HeavyGod | 1 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | aSd | 1 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KEi | 61 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #2 | Kylar | 52 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #3 | HeavyGod | 46 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #4 | TaZ | 33 | 0.36 | 1 min |
| #5 | aSd | 30 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snax | +5.67 | 86 | 40 |
| #2 | aSd | +5.61 | 88 | 68 |
| #3 | malbsMd~ | +3.58 | 90 | 76 |
| #4 | Harry Potter | +3.10 | 78 | 78 |
| #5 | HeavyGod | +2.53 | 71 | 73 |





