








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
326 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 477 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 66 | 14% |
| Smokes | 85 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 123 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 203 | 43% |
Our logs show you have wasted $78,345 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PBZ. | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Mattsson | 52% | 25 |
| #3 | Ea | 33% | 3 |
| #4 | Apanlukke | 33% | 3 |
| #5 | Tutelarbucket94 | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Ea | 33% | 3 |
| #4 | Apanlukke | 33% | 3 |
| #5 | Tutelarbucket94 | 25% | 4 |
| #6 | Zaint- | 25% | 8 |
| #7 | EMPTY | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zaint- | 2 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | Mattsson | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Apanlukke | 1 | 0.0182 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mattsson | 34 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | Tutelarbucket94 | 29 | 0.35 | 0 min |
| #3 | EMPTY | 18 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ea | 18 | 0.33 | 0 min |
| #5 | Zaint- | 13 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mattsson | +2.33 | 72 | 59 |
| #2 | Zaint- | +2.16 | 40 | 57 |
| #3 | EMPTY | +1.81 | 39 | 59 |
| #4 | PBZ. | +1.09 | 59 | 58 |
| #5 | Ea | +1.00 | 56 | 28 |





