








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 507 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 219 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2774 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,609 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2392 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2425 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2598 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2194 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $923,231 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 931 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^contact | 71% | 45 |
| #2 | Regless | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | SHAK_t☢ | 57% | 113 |
| #4 | .n o i x | 55% | 148 |
| #5 | yoghurt jr | 54% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | SHAK_t☢ | 57% | 113 |
| #4 | .n o i x | 55% | 148 |
| #5 | yoghurt jr | 54% | 70 |
| #6 | .Ernie` | 54% | 172 |
| #7 | behrouz | 49% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHAK_t☢ | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | .Ernie` | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | behrouz | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Regless | 3 | 0.0086 |
| #5 | yoghurt jr | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .Ernie` | 798 | 0.22 | 23 min |
| #2 | SHAK_t☢ | 282 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | ^contact | 206 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #4 | .n o i x | 171 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | yoghurt jr | 147 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^contact | +3.53 | 92 | 72 |
| #2 | .n o i x | +1.29 | 85 | 59 |
| #3 | 2024 | +0.55 | 71 | 68 |
| #4 | Regless | +0.10 | 77 | 26 |
| #5 | yoghurt jr | -0.15 | 43 | 53 |





