








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 827 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 99 matches | ||
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3290 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,054 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2909 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3286 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2369 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2490 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $964,169 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 480 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teefilter | 73% | 37 |
| #2 | Cohema | 71% | 62 |
| #3 | paul | 69% | 59 |
| #4 | b1tch | 67% | 43 |
| #5 | marlon | 58% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teefilter | 73% | 37 |
| #2 | Cohema | 71% | 62 |
| #3 | paul | 69% | 59 |
| #4 | b1tch | 67% | 43 |
| #5 | marlon | 58% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | paul | 15 | 0.0126 |
| #2 | Cohema | 14 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | marlon | 10 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | b1tch | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Teefilter | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marlon | 253 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | paul | 241 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | b1tch | 88 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Teefilter | 10 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | Cohema | 6 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | paul | +3.08 | 60 | 74 |
| #2 | marlon | +3.05 | 76 | 62 |
| #3 | Cohema | +2.72 | 51 | 16 |
| #4 | J_CoLL | +2.09 | 67 | 60 |
| #5 | Teefilter | -1.67 | 32 | 30 |





