








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 335 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Esplay | 21 matches | 1,837 | |
| Premier | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1311 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,322 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1518 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1443 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1135 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1226 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $410,489 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | worldender | 53% | 17 |
| #2 | screm | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | CroiX | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | Fridde | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | Sandis | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | screm | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Fridde | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | worldender | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sandis | +3.36 | 86 | 60 |
| #2 | Hmmz | +2.89 | 75 | 74 |
| #3 | CroiX | +1.29 | 76 | 58 |
| #4 | Fefflan | +0.61 | 79 | 72 |
| #5 | Fridde | -0.17 | 87 | 49 |





