








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 616 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 444 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6014 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,150 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8903 | 26% |
| Smokes | 8314 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 9100 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 7833 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,544,277 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 403 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s2kodiak | 63% | 185 |
| #2 | Paradox1h' | 61% | 85 |
| #3 | Lady | 60% | 114 |
| #4 | EPIKWA | 60% | 42 |
| #5 | KRh | 57% | 246 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Paradox1h' | 61% | 85 |
| #3 | Lady | 60% | 114 |
| #4 | EPIKWA | 60% | 42 |
| #5 | KRh | 57% | 246 |
| #6 | n4Droj' | 57% | 401 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n4Droj' | 53 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | KRh | 23 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Paradox1h' | 18 | 0.0106 |
| #4 | s2kodiak | 16 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Lady | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n4Droj' | 1013 | 0.13 | 25 min |
| #2 | KRh | 862 | 0.17 | 23 min |
| #3 | s2kodiak | 564 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #4 | EPIKWA | 181 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | Paradox1h' | 174 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EPIKWA | +3.44 | 92 | 71 |
| #2 | s2kodiak | +3.11 | 85 | 64 |
| #3 | Paradox1h' | +2.48 | 67 | 64 |
| #4 | n4Droj' | +2.42 | 73 | 65 |
| #5 | F4lk `. | +0.43 | 82 | 82 |





