








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 465 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3877 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,905 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5214 | 40% |
| Smokes | 911 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 3727 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3053 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $289,400 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 338 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paradox1h' | 64% | 45 |
| #2 | EPIKWA | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | KRh | 63% | 105 |
| #4 | F4lk `. | 63% | 185 |
| #5 | Lady | 60% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | EPIKWA | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | KRh | 63% | 105 |
| #4 | F4lk `. | 63% | 185 |
| #5 | Lady | 60% | 30 |
| #6 | n4Droj' | 58% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F4lk `. | 17 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | n4Droj' | 17 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | KRh | 15 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | Paradox1h' | 9 | 0.0098 |
| #5 | Lady | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F4lk `. | 459 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #2 | KRh | 390 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | n4Droj' | 365 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | Paradox1h' | 106 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | EPIKWA | 75 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s2kodiak | +2.99 | 85 | 63 |
| #2 | n4Droj' | +1.72 | 78 | 63 |
| #3 | EPIKWA | +1.68 | 90 | 71 |
| #4 | Paradox1h' | +1.11 | 65 | 63 |
| #5 | F4lk `. | -0.38 | 81 | 82 |





