








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
833 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 926 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 128 | 14% |
| Smokes | 244 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 262 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 292 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $438,856 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SmitherS | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | eye like come | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Bernie | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | Teso | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | HomerS | 44% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ☭ Karl Marx ☭ | 43% | 7 |
| #7 | I will kms if I lose this match | 43% | 7 |
| #8 | LennyS | 42% | 50 |
| #9 | Elli | 40% | 10 |
| #10 | SuPaNinaツS | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LennyS | 5 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | HomerS | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | SuPaNinaツS | 2 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | Elli | 1 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | eye like come | 1 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HomerS | 153 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | LennyS | 149 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | SuPaNinaツS | 32 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | ☭ Karl Marx ☭ | 27 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | I will kms if I lose this match | 24 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eye like come | +4.62 | 69 | 40 |
| #2 | SmitherS | +3.45 | 64 | 23 |
| #3 | LennyS | +2.23 | 61 | 70 |
| #4 | Bernie | +1.20 | 40 | 53 |
| #5 | Teso | +0.09 | 50 | 54 |





