








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 868 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 556 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6902 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,281 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7273 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5608 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4507 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5893 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $655,924 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 209 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 48kg kid | 56% | 291 |
| #2 | Ridn | 53% | 181 |
| #3 | JS | 52% | 122 |
| #4 | Piss baby | 50% | 260 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 48kg kid | 56% | 291 |
| #2 | Ridn | 53% | 181 |
| #3 | JS | 52% | 122 |
| #4 | Piss baby | 50% | 260 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 48kg kid | 54 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | Piss baby | 19 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | JS | 8 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Ridn | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 48kg kid | 1087 | 0.19 | 29 min |
| #2 | Piss baby | 631 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #3 | Ridn | 461 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | JS | 432 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 48kg kid | +4.35 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | Ridn | +1.15 | 83 | 60 |
| #3 | nick | -0.04 | 63 | 49 |
| #4 | JS | -0.44 | 63 | 62 |
| #5 | Piss baby | -1.16 | 55 | 60 |





