








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1665 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,535 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 705 | 13% |
| Smokes | 964 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2584 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 1282 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $683,298 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 349 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jive (No Games at 9:45PM) | 45% | 20 |
| #2 | meat | 44% | 105 |
| #3 | Jerry | 42% | 130 |
| #4 | CtotheMAC | 39% | 62 |
| #5 | Moist_Terps | 32% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jive (No Games at 9:45PM) | 45% | 20 |
| #2 | meat | 44% | 105 |
| #3 | Jerry | 42% | 130 |
| #4 | CtotheMAC | 39% | 62 |
| #5 | Moist_Terps | 32% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meat | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | CtotheMAC | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Jerry | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jerry | 128 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #2 | Moist_Terps | 83 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | CtotheMAC | 66 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | meat | 63 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jive (No Games at 9:45PM) | 38 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jive (No Games at 9:45PM) | +2.50 | 67 | 45 |
| #2 | Moist_Terps | +2.36 | 65 | 53 |
| #3 | meat | +1.81 | 39 | 35 |
| #4 | Roman Beers | -1.08 | 27 | 40 |
| #5 | CtotheMAC | -2.09 | 35 | 38 |





