








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 497 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1957 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,200 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2235 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1458 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2095 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1412 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $262,138 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOOOBIAKI | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | vadik | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | sõll♿ | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | marx | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | Goatest | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | vadik | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | sõll♿ | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | marx | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | Goatest | 36% | 11 |
| #6 | T | 24% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goatest | 3 | 0.0166 |
| #2 | marx | 2 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | vadik | 2 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | T | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | TOOOBIAKI | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marx | 77 | 0.38 | 2 min |
| #2 | TOOOBIAKI | 50 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | sõll♿ | 22 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | vadik | 19 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | T | 17 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fr1xk | +2.23 | 82 | 66 |
| #2 | TOOOBIAKI | +0.69 | 82 | 55 |
| #3 | vadik | -0.19 | 85 | 56 |
| #4 | Goatest | -1.07 | 49 | 41 |
| #5 | marx | -1.61 | 76 | 59 |





