








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 204 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




114 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7461 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,047 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4686 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1438 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 2009 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2914 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,055,961 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1354 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | on gasoline and promethazine | 56% | 210 |
| #2 | pluggalo | 55% | 487 |
| #3 | OVO🦉GUAP | 55% | 203 |
| #4 | agios | 54% | 78 |
| #5 | ¿ | 52% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | on gasoline and promethazine | 56% | 210 |
| #2 | pluggalo | 55% | 487 |
| #3 | OVO🦉GUAP | 55% | 203 |
| #4 | agios | 54% | 78 |
| #5 | ¿ | 52% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pluggalo | 96 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | on gasoline and promethazine | 28 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | ¿ | 16 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | OVO🦉GUAP | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | agios | 6 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pluggalo | 415 | 0.04 | 9 min |
| #2 | on gasoline and promethazine | 313 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | agios | 288 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | ¿ | 239 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | OVO🦉GUAP | 22 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | on gasoline and promethazine | +6.96 | 78 | 69 |
| #2 | haine | +3.38 | 72 | 34 |
| #3 | ¿ | +1.58 | 67 | 50 |
| #4 | pluggalo | -1.43 | 28 | 37 |
| #5 | agios | -1.55 | 52 | 51 |





