








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 367 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1936 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,047 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1780 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1632 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 574 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 1061 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $99,736 of utility $23 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 230 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eyrie | 56% | 50 |
| #2 | eg | 54% | 41 |
| #3 | natalka uwu | 52% | 66 |
| #4 | cieplojadek | 51% | 89 |
| #5 | teffek | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | turbodymomen | 50% | 20 |
| #7 | Spartano ム | 50% | 34 |
| #8 | Dinoks | 48% | 116 |
| #9 | The Śmietanolele B.I.G | 46% | 41 |
| #10 | mrz | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cieplojadek | 28 | 0.0173 |
| #2 | Dinoks | 16 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | natalka uwu | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Eyrie | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | The Śmietanolele B.I.G | 3 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | natalka uwu | 305 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #2 | cieplojadek | 183 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Dinoks | 133 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | eg | 130 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | Eyrie | 97 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eyrie | +1.95 | 62 | 52 |
| #2 | cieplojadek | +1.81 | 79 | 50 |
| #3 | natalka uwu | +1.79 | 77 | 68 |
| #4 | The Śmietanolele B.I.G | +0.55 | 54 | 51 |
| #5 | Spartano ム | +0.15 | 62 | 54 |





