








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1099 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,281 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 497 | 22% |
| Smokes | 532 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 569 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 683 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $819,034 of utility $286 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 318 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zelan | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | oskoskosk | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | fr0st- | 75% | 8 |
| #4 | Ting | 65% | 31 |
| #5 | Hanno | 64% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Mischief | 46% | 13 |
| #11 | Comma, | 46% | 39 |
| #12 | BlahBlahRudra | 45% | 11 |
| #13 | Matt | 41% | 39 |
| #14 | Void | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hamshanks | 30 | 0.0476 |
| #2 | lukent | 18 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | Ting | 5 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | Hanno | 4 | 0.0142 |
| #5 | Comma, | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matt | 329 | 0.42 | 9 min |
| #2 | lukent | 327 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #3 | Hamshanks | 149 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #4 | Ting | 81 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mischief | 44 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ting | +5.51 | 89 | 54 |
| #2 | oskoskosk | +3.09 | 52 | 70 |
| #3 | Matt | +2.87 | 88 | 78 |
| #4 | lukent | +2.43 | 87 | 61 |
| #5 | Zelan | +2.41 | 92 | 58 |





