








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 648 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6275 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,947 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10871 | 54% |
| Smokes | 5151 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 621 | 3% |
| Molotovs | 3304 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $654,197 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 451 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR | 44% | 225 |
| #8 | Void | 43% | 108 |
| #9 | к о г и. | 41% | 56 |
| #10 | mlto; | 41% | 39 |
| #11 | Doctor Cockter | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lukent | 30 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Hamshanks | 21 | 0.0374 |
| #3 | TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Shacky on cracky | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Void | 7 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lukent | 655 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #2 | TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR | 382 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | Shacky on cracky | 284 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | Azzarudders | 209 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | Void | 201 | 0.09 | 5 min |





