








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 830 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 247 matches | ||
| Esplay | 57 matches | 2,054 | |
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4233 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,654 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1801 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3487 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3705 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3661 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,081,015 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 337 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bjerger | 58% | 202 |
| #2 | KaLLaS:-DD | 55% | 292 |
| #3 | •Powjr• | 54% | 220 |
| #4 | Muikku #Morot | 49% | 39 |
| #5 | They almost killed Bill's baby 😭 | 47% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KaLLaS:-DD | +3.36 | 88 | 56 |
| #2 | •Powjr• | +2.10 | 91 | 72 |
| #3 | Chef | +0.00 | 83 | 61 |
| #4 | They almost killed Bill's baby 😭 | -1.04 | 69 | 32 |
| #5 | MekkiMies | -1.09 | 54 | 46 |





