








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1709 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 405 matches | ||
| Faceit | 132 matches | ||
| Esplay | 53 matches | 2,296 | |
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8226 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,943 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8179 | 29% |
| Smokes | 8737 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5885 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5142 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,743,988 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1120 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | luchalucho ルーク | 59% | 80 |
| #2 | Muikku #Morot | 58% | 64 |
| #3 | KaLLaS:-DD | 55% | 304 |
| #4 | Bjerger | 54% | 338 |
| #5 | Chef | 54% | 220 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bjerger | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Chef | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | 0gee-♿ | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | KaLLaS:-DD | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Muikku #Morot | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KaLLaS:-DD | 646 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #2 | Bjerger | 576 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #3 | Muikku #Morot | 266 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #4 | Chef | 248 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #5 | KB | 177 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KaLLaS:-DD | +2.44 | 88 | 54 |
| #2 | •Powjr• | +2.39 | 89 | 71 |
| #3 | Chef | +0.03 | 83 | 59 |
| #4 | 0gee-♿ | -0.85 | 70 | 45 |
| #5 | Bjerger | -1.43 | 69 | 54 |





