








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 909 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1933 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,528 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1103 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1326 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1098 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1001 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $747,485 of utility $242 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maus5 | 60% | 62 |
| #2 | L4ECHERLICH | 56% | 63 |
| #3 | FlaupinYaHead | 52% | 46 |
| #4 | Shimbo | 51% | 68 |
| #5 | Miroslav Hose | 50% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maus5 | 60% | 62 |
| #2 | L4ECHERLICH | 56% | 63 |
| #3 | FlaupinYaHead | 52% | 46 |
| #4 | Shimbo | 51% | 68 |
| #5 | Miroslav Hose | 50% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miroslav Hose | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Shimbo | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | L4ECHERLICH | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Maus5 | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L4ECHERLICH | 207 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Maus5 | 196 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | FlaupinYaHead | 154 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Miroslav Hose | 137 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Shimbo | 89 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mike | +3.22 | 84 | 66 |
| #2 | Maus5 | +0.08 | 77 | 64 |
| #3 | Shimbo | -0.20 | 63 | 65 |
| #4 | Miroslav Hose | -0.45 | 56 | 56 |
| #5 | L4ECHERLICH | -0.62 | 60 | 66 |





