








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 420 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3105 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,977 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1902 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1952 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3007 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2116 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $707,176 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joao tosta | 66% | 50 |
| #2 | Urso Multietnico Parrudo | 58% | 45 |
| #3 | cabeço | 58% | 33 |
| #4 | sss | 57% | 122 |
| #5 | small rocks | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jean claude vac ban | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | sss | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Avoyd | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Lebrone | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | pantufas | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wTvFrozzen | 304 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | pantufas | 296 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | ntrx- | 251 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | sss | 212 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Avoyd | 190 | 0.09 | 3 min |





