








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 298 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 855 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6272 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,867 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9361 | 25% |
| Smokes | 9280 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 9972 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 8254 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,099,245 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 483 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Buster588 | 54% | 68 |
| #2 | Royce | 54% | 114 |
| #3 | spongebob | 52% | 166 |
| #4 | GrASS | 49% | 369 |
| #5 | Jimmy Buffet | 46% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | spongebob | 52% | 166 |
| #4 | GrASS | 49% | 369 |
| #5 | Jimmy Buffet | 46% | 102 |
| #6 | MUC | 43% | 104 |
| #7 | VoidFox13 | 43% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GrASS | 17 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | VoidFox13 | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Royce | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Jimmy Buffet | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | spongebob | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Royce | 586 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| #2 | Jimmy Buffet | 566 | 0.26 | 15 min |
| #3 | GrASS | 421 | 0.05 | 10 min |
| #4 | spongebob | 358 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | VoidFox13 | 160 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Royce | +2.95 | 60 | 68 |
| #2 | Jimmy Buffet | +2.45 | 46 | 72 |
| #3 | spongebob | +0.91 | 41 | 57 |
| #4 | MUC | +0.49 | 61 | 33 |
| #5 | GrASS | -0.03 | 58 | 53 |





