








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 459 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4012 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,312 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2384 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2607 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1658 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1663 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $895,982 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 158 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Penance | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | Jokuanton | 67% | 36 |
| #3 | Kurai~ | 63% | 38 |
| #4 | Treesround | 59% | 32 |
| #5 | Öli | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Mika Major | 45% | 20 |
| #15 | -Sääski | 43% | 67 |
| #16 | peppumatti | 42% | 31 |
| #17 | Kärinäpate | 38% | 29 |
| #18 | Milu | 31% | 26 |





