








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1062 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 538 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5987 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,658 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2396 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3186 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3309 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3767 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,076,613 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vejen | 12 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Bamba | 8 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | ✪ N1c0 | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | MBorg | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Schnejder-iwnl- | 4 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vejen | 1195 | 0.12 | 36 min |
| #2 | ✪ N1c0 | 240 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | Bamba | 125 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Schnejder-iwnl- | 94 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | MBorg | 58 | 0.04 | 1 min |





