








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 396 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2530 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,389 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1879 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2292 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1556 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1662 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $758,606 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kamikaze | 56% | 32 |
| #2 | backz | 56% | 57 |
| #3 | Pedobär | 56% | 34 |
| #4 | schnick schnack | 55% | 96 |
| #5 | Carolina Reaper | 52% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MacMasel | 11 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Niko | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | schnick schnack | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Ritter | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Its Felikz | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Its Felikz | 469 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | Niko | 251 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | MacMasel | 223 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | schnick schnack | 221 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Tekorion | 146 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schnick schnack | +2.24 | 75 | 41 |
| #2 | baum1996 | +1.87 | 74 | 65 |
| #3 | MacMasel | +1.38 | 66 | 58 |
| #4 | backz | +1.20 | 73 | 51 |
| #5 | Niko | -0.26 | 63 | 61 |





