








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
520 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,265 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 884 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1059 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1334 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 988 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $330,927 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .Darioush`-´ | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Unravel | 70% | 53 |
| #3 | Craigon | 69% | 16 |
| #4 | Timo | 65% | 83 |
| #5 | dpe | 64% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Craigon | 69% | 16 |
| #4 | Timo | 65% | 83 |
| #5 | dpe | 64% | 22 |
| #6 | CRU_ | 60% | 15 |
| #7 | Frank Hemd | 57% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frank Hemd | 4 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | Timo | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Unravel | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | CRU_ | 1 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frank Hemd | 96 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #2 | Timo | 45 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | CRU_ | 38 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | Unravel | 31 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | dpe | 18 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .Darioush`-´ | +3.79 | 64 | 65 |
| #2 | Frank Hemd | +3.15 | 98 | 71 |
| #3 | dpe | +1.40 | 93 | 75 |
| #4 | Unravel | +1.39 | 68 | 59 |
| #5 | pan | +0.62 | 71 | 68 |





