








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 736 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 902 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8801 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,461 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8493 | 29% |
| Smokes | 8533 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 6459 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5976 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,397,919 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 651 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5 | 58% | 55 |
| #2 | Marcus Halberstram | 56% | 129 |
| #3 | GMAN | 54% | 54 |
| #4 | bp | 48% | 132 |
| #5 | ChEeCh^ | 47% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | GMAN | 54% | 54 |
| #4 | bp | 48% | 132 |
| #5 | ChEeCh^ | 47% | 64 |
| #6 | Rad | 46% | 99 |
| #7 | Kugo | 45% | 155 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bp | 12 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Rad | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Kugo | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | 5 | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Marcus Halberstram | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marcus Halberstram | 463 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #2 | Kugo | 205 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | GMAN | 197 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | 5 | 186 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | bp | 155 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rad | +2.85 | 64 | 66 |
| #2 | 5 | +1.41 | 70 | 67 |
| #3 | GMAN | +1.15 | 58 | 59 |
| #4 | Marcus Halberstram | +0.11 | 63 | 78 |
| #5 | D Willy | -0.05 | 56 | 60 |





