








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 374 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 262 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 131 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4128 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,690 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5531 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3902 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3855 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3402 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,143,138 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 966 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✂c | 52% | 54 |
| #2 | DSNCE | Praiger the rager | 49% | 53 |
| #3 | {DTF} Paige | 46% | 114 |
| #4 | {DtF}Diddle Me Dis? Diddy Do It? | 45% | 383 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✂c | 52% | 54 |
| #2 | DSNCE | Praiger the rager | 49% | 53 |
| #3 | {DTF} Paige | 46% | 114 |
| #4 | {DtF}Diddle Me Dis? Diddy Do It? | 45% | 383 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | {DtF}Diddle Me Dis? Diddy Do It? | 13 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | {DTF} Paige | 12 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | DSNCE | Praiger the rager | 7 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | ✂c | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | {DtF}Diddle Me Dis? Diddy Do It? | 1070 | 0.14 | 26 min |
| #2 | {DTF} Paige | 245 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | DSNCE | Praiger the rager | 109 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | ✂c | 43 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DSNCE | Praiger the rager | +3.08 | 36 | 44 |
| #2 | ✂c | +2.59 | 34 | 36 |
| #3 | {DTF} Paige | +2.15 | 32 | 41 |
| #4 | {DtF}Diddle Me Dis? Diddy Do It? | -0.67 | 24 | 62 |
| #5 | {DtF} фантом | -1.02 | 29 | 56 |





