








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 272 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Faceit | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3395 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,511 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 665 | 15% |
| Smokes | 779 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1546 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1521 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $485,058 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 200 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rassen | 58% | 52 |
| #2 | Repellent99 | 57% | 49 |
| #3 | takeitez | 55% | 55 |
| #4 | Deadman's Whiskey | 54% | 76 |
| #5 | KazuJNG | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Zeber Skin a utekaj | 53% | 19 |
| #7 | Super Idol的笑容 | 52% | 81 |
| #8 | Mercedes-Benz E-Class | 49% | 97 |
| #9 | Rainƒall | 49% | 45 |
| #10 | The Dril | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deadman's Whiskey | 11 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Rassen | 7 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Super Idol的笑容 | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | takeitez | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Zeber Skin a utekaj | 2 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rassen | 366 | 0.34 | 9 min |
| #2 | Super Idol的笑容 | 296 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Mercedes-Benz E-Class | 177 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | KazuJNG | 86 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Repellent99 | 85 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rassen | +3.99 | 88 | 70 |
| #2 | takeitez | +2.87 | 86 | 51 |
| #3 | Devour | +2.68 | 78 | 40 |
| #4 | Super Idol的笑容 | +0.34 | 71 | 54 |
| #5 | Zeber Skin a utekaj | -0.23 | 66 | 59 |





