








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 140 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 126 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1875 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,529 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2591 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2351 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1176 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1411 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $533,042 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛ ✪ ^ OBZ._^ ✪ ♛ | 55% | 20 |
| #2 | rexest | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | exclaimer | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | Ro_@N3Y | 47% | 34 |
| #5 | aXe | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aXe | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Br4v0 Jr. | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Br4v0 Jr. | +2.32 | 79 | 62 |
| #2 | UwU JaKsZ | +1.95 | 83 | 25 |
| #3 | ♛ ✪ ^ OBZ._^ ✪ ♛ | +1.94 | 75 | 63 |
| #4 | R3.2K | +1.76 | 91 | 45 |
| #5 | exclaimer | +0.94 | 75 | 78 |





