








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 96 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1374 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,137 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 767 | 24% |
| Smokes | 634 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1033 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 703 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $815,222 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glink333 | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | johaN - | 54% | 69 |
| #3 | vsd | 49% | 75 |
| #4 | ΛNDEEH ッ♚ | 49% | 158 |
| #5 | amatho | 39% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | johaN - | 54% | 69 |
| #3 | vsd | 49% | 75 |
| #4 | ΛNDEEH ッ♚ | 49% | 158 |
| #5 | amatho | 39% | 33 |
| #6 | Emzies | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ΛNDEEH ッ♚ | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | vsd | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | johaN - | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ΛNDEEH ッ♚ | 731 | 0.23 | 21 min |
| #2 | johaN - | 237 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | glink333 | 182 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #4 | vsd | 174 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | amatho | 58 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ΛNDEEH ッ♚ | +2.47 | 80 | 69 |
| #2 | glink333 | +2.14 | 76 | 71 |
| #3 | vsd | +0.02 | 71 | 59 |
| #4 | johaN - | -0.18 | 67 | 58 |
| #5 | amatho | -0.66 | 74 | 55 |





