








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
696 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,272 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 674 | 30% |
| Smokes | 554 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 405 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 639 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $133,081 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | vacant | 49% | 35 |
| #8 | ArtDealer | 48% | 27 |
| #9 | qwporjeoq | 43% | 21 |
| #10 | Leif Gulbrandsen | 33% | 6 |
| #11 | pluto | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BEELAL | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | pluto | 1 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Matt Raul | 1 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Leif Gulbrandsen | 1 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | papito | +2.23 | 93 | 64 |
| #2 | ArtDealer | +2.07 | 96 | 55 |
| #3 | Leif Gulbrandsen | +0.62 | 77 | 60 |
| #4 | vacant | +0.29 | 86 | 63 |
| #5 | BEELAL | +0.19 | 91 | 47 |





