








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 220 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3101 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,170 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1330 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3460 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 1671 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1709 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,098,776 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 173 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sonk | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | whEEzy | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Vuwie2k~iwnl~ | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | ooh wee | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Geoffrey Floydstein | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whEEzy | 1183 | 0.21 | 28 min |
| #2 | sonk | 1139 | 0.21 | 33 min |
| #3 | Geoffrey Floydstein | 280 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | ☁︎ QUE OTA | 246 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Vuwie2k~iwnl~ | 185 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whEEzy | +2.30 | 82 | 74 |
| #2 | Dick Kickem | +1.47 | 86 | 51 |
| #3 | Dagger | +1.06 | 75 | 53 |
| #4 | Geoffrey Floydstein | -0.11 | 63 | 68 |
| #5 | ☁︎ QUE OTA | -0.40 | 88 | 54 |





