








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 503 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 266 matches | ||
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4886 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,132 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6699 | 32% |
| Smokes | 6457 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3063 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 4913 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $703,742 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sonk | 10 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Dick Kickem | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | ooh wee | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Vuwie2k~iwnl~ | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Geoffrey Floydstein | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sonk | 1487 | 0.20 | 44 min |
| #2 | Dick Kickem | 390 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | Geoffrey Floydstein | 341 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #4 | ☁︎ QUE OTA | 312 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | Vuwie2k~iwnl~ | 207 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whEEzy | +2.52 | 81 | 73 |
| #2 | Dagger | +1.73 | 75 | 55 |
| #3 | Dick Kickem | +1.25 | 86 | 50 |
| #4 | Geoffrey Floydstein | -0.60 | 62 | 68 |
| #5 | sonk | -0.80 | 63 | 69 |





