








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1333 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,880 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 308 | 16% |
| Smokes | 717 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 506 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 349 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $193,230 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | derk | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Mitchell | 60% | 85 |
| #3 | Wheels ♿ | 55% | 87 |
| #4 | Schnitzel | 47% | 34 |
| #5 | Sbubby | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Mitchell | 60% | 85 |
| #3 | Wheels ♿ | 55% | 87 |
| #4 | Schnitzel | 47% | 34 |
| #5 | Sbubby | 30% | 10 |
| #6 | Topher | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mitchell | 9 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Wheels ♿ | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Schnitzel | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Topher | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mitchell | 177 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | Wheels ♿ | 79 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | derk | 26 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #4 | Topher | 19 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | Schnitzel | 13 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dustin | +2.81 | 76 | 38 |
| #2 | Mitchell | +2.73 | 69 | 66 |
| #3 | derk | +0.21 | 56 | 30 |
| #4 | Wheels ♿ | -1.85 | 46 | 40 |
| #5 | Topher | -3.12 | 50 | 29 |





