








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 693 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 503 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5827 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,376 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3683 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3984 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4355 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3354 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,373,120 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1317 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | -4cme. | 48% | 163 |
| #6 | Souliens | 46% | 69 |
| #7 | Edvardens | 44% | 151 |
| #8 | Shiiiva | 44% | 82 |
| #9 | Patriotas | 26% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -4cme. | 24 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Don Antonio | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Souliens | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Shiiiva | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Sportivo | 4 | 0.0035 |





