










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 127 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
753 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,776 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 696 | 39% |
| Smokes | 464 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 277 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 339 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $248,270 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JB | 56% | 50 |
| #2 | cosmic | 54% | 56 |
| #3 | zeller | 53% | 55 |
| #4 | godisdeaduwu | 33% | 6 |
| #5 | ror | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JB | 56% | 50 |
| #2 | cosmic | 54% | 56 |
| #3 | zeller | 53% | 55 |
| #4 | godisdeaduwu | 33% | 6 |
| #5 | ror | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cosmic | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | zeller | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | JB | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | ror | 1 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cosmic | 209 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | JB | 147 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | zeller | 94 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | godisdeaduwu | 5 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | ror | 2 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cosmic | +2.09 | 75 | 59 |
| #2 | brokePC | +1.62 | 73 | 49 |
| #3 | zeller | -0.84 | 63 | 32 |
| #4 | JB | -1.40 | 40 | 61 |
| #5 | godisdeaduwu | -5.02 | 35 | 9 |





