








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 338 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1878 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,648 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2401 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2475 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3031 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1741 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,038,856 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 329 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simooon | 66% | 56 |
| #2 | Carsten - The King | 60% | 40 |
| #3 | Smirnoff | 55% | 154 |
| #4 | ¤ SLA$g€r ¤ | 54% | 96 |
| #5 | Chups0 | 54% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DoniczDK | 23 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Slatne | 10 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Smirnoff | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | dfg | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | ¤ SLA$g€r ¤ | 8 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smirnoff | 618 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #2 | dfg | 399 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #3 | DoniczDK | 359 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | Slatne | 294 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | Chups0 | 283 | 0.16 | 8 min |





