








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 147 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
978 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,689 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1641 | 44% |
| Smokes | 828 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 423 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 797 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $233,331 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Luftjan | 57% | 30 |
| #7 | metin. | 56% | 9 |
| #8 | deetee- | 55% | 42 |
| #9 | not available | 55% | 33 |
| #10 | Icebear | 54% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elio- | 7 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Icebear | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | deetee- | 5 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | coochie boy | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | not available | 3 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Icebear | 265 | 0.30 | 6 min |
| #2 | coochie boy | 198 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #3 | deetee- | 180 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | elio- | 171 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | not available | 156 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deetee- | +3.29 | 80 | 62 |
| #2 | j4nt3 | +1.57 | 66 | 65 |
| #3 | Icebear | +0.60 | 76 | 56 |
| #4 | elio- | +0.35 | 78 | 61 |
| #5 | coochie boy | +0.13 | 66 | 58 |





