








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
424 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,942 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 351 | 18% |
| Smokes | 485 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 640 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 466 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $390,338 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ammi Pierce | 48% | 50 |
| #2 | therealpringlessourcream | 47% | 49 |
| #3 | RIP Rùdriguéz Barbâroux | 45% | 42 |
| #4 | Chazor | 43% | 60 |
| #5 | NOT Jonas Vingegaard | 42% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ammi Pierce | 48% | 50 |
| #2 | therealpringlessourcream | 47% | 49 |
| #3 | RIP Rùdriguéz Barbâroux | 45% | 42 |
| #4 | Chazor | 43% | 60 |
| #5 | NOT Jonas Vingegaard | 42% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NOT Jonas Vingegaard | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | therealpringlessourcream | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Chazor | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | RIP Rùdriguéz Barbâroux | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | therealpringlessourcream | 125 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Chazor | 79 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | RIP Rùdriguéz Barbâroux | 41 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | NOT Jonas Vingegaard | 36 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ammi Pierce | 13 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chazor | +2.67 | 55 | 65 |
| #2 | NOT Jonas Vingegaard | +1.44 | 76 | 38 |
| #3 | therealpringlessourcream | +0.94 | 52 | 64 |
| #4 | RIP Rùdriguéz Barbâroux | -1.02 | 56 | 42 |
| #5 | Waschbecken5000PLUS | -2.59 | 52 | 47 |





