








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 403 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2593 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,662 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3283 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3947 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2183 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2249 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $723,037 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 509 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Endlesstaco | 15 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | † 3Pac † | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Оливие Шампен | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Mentally ill | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | GANEV | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | † 3Pac † | 330 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | Endlesstaco | 275 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Sn3aki-ρD | 99 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Rubber Band | 74 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mentally ill | 73 | 0.03 | 1 min |





