










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
298 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 698 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 198 | 28% |
| Smokes | 190 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 161 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 149 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $164,500 of utility $257 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caffeine denier | 19 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #2 | aldenS- | 14 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #3 | Sigan | 12 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| #4 | Huorambe | 11 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #5 | oshjua | 10 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huorambe | +6.74 | 89 | 74 |
| #2 | caffeine denier | +5.93 | 95 | 28 |
| #3 | bran | +3.10 | 91 | 51 |
| #4 | aldenS- | +1.59 | 87 | 62 |
| #5 | oshjua | +1.54 | 75 | 38 |





