








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
263 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 904 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 307 | 34% |
| Smokes | 236 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 153 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 208 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $107,427 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | intruq | 59% | 27 |
| #2 | shibby | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | PM | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | Man without a horse | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | LuschenLuca im Urlaub | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | shibby | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | PM | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | Man without a horse | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | LuschenLuca im Urlaub | 48% | 33 |
| #6 | ☭Genosse Gysi☭ | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LuschenLuca im Urlaub | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | PM | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | intruq | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | ☭Genosse Gysi☭ | 1 | 0.0159 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PM | 140 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | Man without a horse | 127 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #3 | LuschenLuca im Urlaub | 79 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | intruq | 69 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | shibby | 18 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shibby | +1.41 | 87 | 58 |
| #2 | mfN | +1.17 | 88 | 61 |
| #3 | intruq | +0.60 | 87 | 59 |
| #4 | PM | +0.58 | 79 | 72 |
| #5 | LuschenLuca im Urlaub | -0.24 | 66 | 45 |





