








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
45 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 241 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 54 | 22% |
| Smokes | 49 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 73 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 65 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $21,145 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | @vatsastavääntää | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | Oligergasia | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | L8 | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | Elmo | 33% | 3 |
| #5 | LASSE | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Oligergasia | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | L8 | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | Elmo | 33% | 3 |
| #5 | LASSE | 33% | 6 |
| #6 | zamp121 | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L8 | 26 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #2 | LASSE | 18 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #3 | Elmo | 8 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #4 | zamp121 | 5 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | @vatsastavääntää | 5 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zamp121 | +4.43 | 42 | 72 |
| #2 | Oligergasia | +1.99 | 68 | 36 |
| #3 | LASSE | +1.62 | 84 | 63 |
| #4 | @vatsastavääntää | -0.05 | 55 | 84 |
| #5 | L8 | -0.74 | 29 | 74 |





