








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 406 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2493 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2446 | 56% |
| Smokes | 1065 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 773 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 110 | 3% |
Our logs show you have wasted $630,924 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lactose Free | 54% | 108 |
| #2 | Prime Thanos | 39% | 54 |
| #3 | | 33% | 33 |
| #4 | pog | 29% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lactose Free | 54% | 108 |
| #2 | Prime Thanos | 39% | 54 |
| #3 | | 33% | 33 |
| #4 | pog | 29% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lactose Free | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Prime Thanos | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | pog | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lactose Free | 395 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | Prime Thanos | 207 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | pog | 100 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | | 84 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bob | +2.43 | 85 | 57 |
| #2 | Prime Thanos | -0.26 | 45 | 65 |
| #3 | Lactose Free | -0.53 | 58 | 64 |
| #4 | | -1.75 | 53 | 60 |
| #5 | pog | -3.36 | 24 | 53 |





