








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 251 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 386 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4246 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,056 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3965 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4384 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5188 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2519 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,107,279 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 408 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Captain Jack Sparrow | 50% | 108 |
| #3 | Master Tong | 45% | 126 |
| #4 | pog | 44% | 171 |
| #5 | Prime Thanos | 43% | 180 |
| #6 | bob | 33% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prime Thanos | 679 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #2 | pog | 469 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | Master Tong | 350 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | bob | 138 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | Captain Jack Sparrow | 123 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bob | +2.87 | 90 | 58 |
| #2 | | +0.47 | 63 | 62 |
| #3 | Captain Jack Sparrow | +0.13 | 50 | 48 |
| #4 | Prime Thanos | +0.04 | 52 | 64 |
| #5 | Master Tong | -1.05 | 45 | 53 |





