








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 381 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2855 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,860 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3954 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2629 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3389 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2888 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $985,890 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jML– | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | Donnie Trump | 52% | 187 |
| #3 | Dempsey | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | GodOfKings | 49% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jML– | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | Donnie Trump | 52% | 187 |
| #3 | Dempsey | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | GodOfKings | 49% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donnie Trump | 14 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | GodOfKings | 13 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | jML– | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GodOfKings | 613 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #2 | Donnie Trump | 578 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #3 | Dempsey | 34 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | jML– | 17 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jML– | +1.97 | 92 | 48 |
| #2 | GodOfKings | +1.34 | 81 | 64 |
| #3 | Dempsey | +0.47 | 79 | 55 |
| #4 | Harp | +0.32 | 73 | 68 |
| #5 | Donnie Trump | -0.39 | 41 | 56 |





