








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 420 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 439 matches | ||
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8428 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,240 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6565 | 31% |
| Smokes | 7042 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3295 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4338 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,879,953 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 595 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | josh | 70% | 43 |
| #5 | GooseBreeder | 68% | 62 |
| #6 | stablemaster | 62% | 68 |
| #7 | .GRODY | 61% | 36 |
| #8 | JoJo | 36% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoJo | 10 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | EliGE | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | rm rebug | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | josh | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | stablemaster | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GooseBreeder | 431 | 0.34 | 13 min |
| #2 | EliGE | 346 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | stablemaster | 218 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | josh | 151 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | .GRODY | 147 | 0.21 | 4 min |





