








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 4 different maps




Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
87 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 479 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 176 | 37% |
| Smokes | 185 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 61 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 57 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $18,570 of utility $41 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fnug | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | Eclips3 | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | [Biglumpofcherries™] | 48% | 21 |
| #4 | MichaelOVRPWRD | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | LouisEX | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Eclips3 | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | [Biglumpofcherries™] | 48% | 21 |
| #4 | MichaelOVRPWRD | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | LouisEX | 47% | 15 |
| #6 | Rain3r^^ | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rain3r^^ | 4 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | [Biglumpofcherries™] | 3 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | LouisEX | 2 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | fnug | 2 | 0.0169 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Biglumpofcherries™] | 86 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | Rain3r^^ | 86 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | fnug | 56 | 0.47 | 2 min |
| #4 | Eclips3 | 28 | 0.36 | 1 min |
| #5 | LouisEX | 23 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rain3r^^ | +4.37 | 52 | 67 |
| #2 | LouisEX | +1.85 | 29 | 71 |
| #3 | Eclips3 | +0.11 | 31 | 52 |
| #4 | fnug | -0.70 | 56 | 77 |
| #5 | MichaelOVRPWRD | -1.92 | 48 | 49 |





